


Stranger Than Fiction

by Aviss



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 01:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11979552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aviss/pseuds/Aviss
Summary: Summary:Prompt: Classics 13 - Don Quijote"You think people are not going to notice Kakashi ignoring his duties and hitting on anything with a pulse that stands still long enough?"





	Stranger Than Fiction

"You can't be serious," Iruka repeated for the third time, though he was aware by then that they could and were, in fact, being perfectly serious.

"It's the only thing we can do until the effect passes," Sakura insisted, her face set in a slightly apologetic expression. Next to her Shizune was steadily staring at him from the same position she used to have before Sakura took over Tsunade's duties in the hospital. "And no, Iruka-sensei, we don't know how long it's going to take. It could be a day or it could be a month, we can't tell. But what we can tell is what would happen if word got out that the Hokage's impaired, even temporarily."

_Impaired_. Because the reality of what was happening was too ridiculous to put into words. Not just the fact that someone had attacked the Hokage in his own village, or the fact that their best healers couldn't tell if his odd behaviour was the result of a jutsu or the hit to the head he had taken while defending himself. 

Iruka bit back his protest; they had been going back and forth for the past half an hour since Sakura came out of the examination room, where Kakashi was currently trying to woo one of the nurses with stories of his exploits, and confirmed that yes, that was definitely their Hokage in the room, and no she couldn't fix him because she wasn't sure what was wrong with him, except that she would strangle him herself if he kept hitting on her.

Iruka couldn't blame her if she did, he had been in the room for five minutes and wanted to murder him.

The thing to do should be containing the Hokage, something easier said than done when he also doubled as one of the strongest shinobi in the village even if he currently didn't know that, until they were in the clear. Unfortunately it was the worse possible time for the Hokage to disappear; the war might be over, but with most of their forces depleted any sign of weakness from one of the involved villages would be akin to asking for trouble from the rest of Fire Country, as the attack that had landed them in this particular pickle demonstrated. There was also the meeting of the Kages Kakashi was supposed to attend in two days time, the rest of the Kages already enroute or in the village, not all of them long time allies like Gaara.

"You think people are not going to notice Kakashi ignoring his duties and hitting on anything with a pulse that stands still long enough?" he asked tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could already feel a migraine coming.

Sakura sighed, rubbing her temples like she also had a headache. "Of course they're going to notice, that's the reason you're going to be with him at all times as his assistant, to prevent any kind of nonsense, because nobody can herd Kakashi like you do. We'll have the ANBU investigate the attack in the meantime."

Iruka opened his mouth to reply, only to shut it again at a knock on the door, a harassed looking nurse entering a second later. 

"My apologies, Sakura-san, I'm afraid Rokudaime-sama has just left the hospital."

They exchanged a look and Iruka stood from his chair, sighing. "I'll go after him and play along with this for now, but if he starts tilting at windmills I'll knock him out and lock him home."

He left without looking back. He had a job to do. 

…

The shadow detached itself from the wall the moment Kakashi stepped out of the tavern, falling into step with him not too subtly, following barely two feet behind. It was the same person who had been following him for the past day since he had arrived in Konohagakure, of that Kakashi was positive even with them being cloaked, though it was the first overt move they made. 

Maybe now he would get to find out whether it was friend or foe.

Kakashi kept walking, his pace unhurried and certain while he easily navigated the busy streets of the village's market, nevermind the fact that he could not remember ever being in this village. The streets were familiar to him, and so were some of the faces that peered at him curiously when he walked past them. There was no reason for the familiarity of the place, and it bothered him. As a rule Kakashi usually avoided shinobi villages; they were never in need of his services and tended to be embroiled in some sort of war more often than not. Kakashi knew how to fight, and to fight well when needed, but he was more of an adventurer than a soldier, and found their easy violence disturbing.

He turned abruptly on the next corner, where he was somehow certain the little street after the fishmonger ended in a tiny alley, and stopped abruptly in time to catch his stalker coming into the alley. The man, and now they were close Kakashi could finally see enough of him to determine it was definitely a man, didn't act surprised at all to find Kakashi waiting for him. He stopped a short distance away, staring silently but making no move to either attack Kakashi or make an excuse for his stalking. Intriguing. Normally, when someone was following him they were either admirers or enemies, and considering Kakashi couldn't remember being on a job or coming to this village, he was wary to find out which. 

"You've been following me," he said when the silence stretched uncomfortably between them.

The man gave a short nod, "I have." He pulled the hood of his cloak down, revealing his face to Kakashi, and he had a brief flash of recognition. The man had an attractive face, tanned and open with dark brown eyes and a lush mouth, and a distinctive scar across the bridge of his nose. It took him a moment to place him as one of the people in the hospital, the one looking at him with concern when he had opened his eyes, but that didn't explain why he had been following him. "My name is Umino Iruka." He stared at Kakashi as if expecting the name to mean something to him, his lips thinning when Kakashi didn't react.

"What is is then?" Kakashi pressed when it was clear he wasn't saying anything else. "I only get chased by people wanting to kill me or sleep with me, so which one is it?"

Iruka snorted, something that sounded suspiciously like ' _usually both'_ mumbled under his breath. "Neither," he said out loud. "I need your help."

"My help?" He had a strange way of going around that one, if that was the truth. Kakashi decided to let him talk, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest ne nodded at Iruka to continue.

"There's been an attack," he began slowly, obviously choosing his words. "And as a result, we have _misplaced_ our Hokage. We have some powerful people arriving shortly, and we can't afford to show a vacant leadership."

An image of a masked figure with a short sword flashed briefly in his mind, gone before he could fully process it. _An attack._ That explained the fact that Kakashi had woken up in the hospital with no idea of how he got there and why he was in that village, he must have been caught in the middle of it; the last he could remember was that interesting affair with the Daimyo's wife after he returned her priceless kanzashi, but after that his mind was oddly blank. He must have been passing through Konoha when the attack happened. "And you need me to find him?" he asked. He was famous for being able to retrieve most treasures, though sometimes he was asked to retrieve people as well, like that time with the merchant's daughter that still made him smile when he remembered it.

Iruka shook his head. "After a fashion." he paused again, and Kakashi patiently waited him out. "You look remarkably like Rokudaime-sama, and we need you to take his place while we get him back."

That was a new one. 

…

The house Iruka took him to had the same faint feeling of familiarity as everything else in Konoha, like he had been in the place before and felt comfortable there, something that rarely happened to him since he had lost his home all those years ago. Kakashi still didn't know much about the situation, except that Iruka was the Hokage's assitant when he wasn't teaching, and that he was exceptionally attractive even with a pinched expression on his face. He must be even more attractive when smiling, and Kakashi had decided to stay and help them if that meant being close enough to him to seduce a smile, and maybe something more, out of him.

He had helped people for worse reasons.

"What should I call you?" Iruka asked as soon as they were ensconced inside the house, his hands moving on a series of fast symbols that produced a faint tingling over his skin. 

"Kakashi," he said, Iruka's lips thinning even tighter at it. 

"Ok, make yourself comfortable while I prepare some dinner. We can talk while we eat."

Before he could say anything, Kakashi was alone in the living room, looking around the place. The living room was small but comfortable, lived in, with a few book shelves sagging with books and pictures that showed Iruka and an assortment of other people, including one who must have been the Hokage, a shock of white hair similar to Kakashi's and a masked face that could have been anyone's at all with how little revealed. The book collection was eclectic, from classic titles to textbooks to modern romance and erotic novels, most of them looking dog eared and well loved. On top of a table was a stack of unsealed scrolls with different hand writing on them, clearly part of Iruka's job as a teacher. 

Kakashi picked a book from the shelf at random and sat on the couch, scanning the pages while he let his mind wander, the strange familiarity of the place and the vagueness of his recent memories niggling at him. He could not pinpoint the moment he had decided to come to Konoha, nor remember the route he took here or what reason he had for it. He could remember his past trips, and some of the jobs he took during them. And he could clearly recall his adventures, in vivid detail, the nights spent in the arms of all those grateful people he had helped, but the memories were removed, with no feeling behind it. 

He was still puzzling it, staring unseeingly at the book in his hand when Iruka returned and set two plates and two beers on the table. 

"We need to talk about tomorrow's meeting," Iruka began once they were sitting down. 

"I'd rather talk about you, Iruka-san," Kakashi said with a flirtatious smile, picking up the chopsticks and beginning to eat. He felt his eyebrows climbing up at the first taste, and looked down at his food. There was no way for Iruka to have known Katsudon was his favourite dish, nor the right balance of sauce he liked, but it was perfect. He filed this away to revisit later. "If I am to pretend being your Hokage, I should know my assistant after all."

"That's not important right now."

"I beg to differ, people will notice if our interactions and body language around each other are different since we are supposed to work closely, and he seems to be a friend of yours." he pointed his chopsticks at the framed picture he had had seen before. "What does he call you?"

Iruka narrowed his eyes at him as if expecting a trick, but decided Kakashi was right after a moment. He sagged and picked up his chopsticks. "In public he always calls me Sensei or Iruka-sensei. It's what most people in Konoha call me. We've known each other for a long time, and worked together since the end of the war."

Kakashi suppressed the urge to ask what he called Iruka in private, though he noted the distinction. "And you work for both the Academy and the Hokage?"

"The Academy is on break, so I spend most time with the Hokage now until the start of the next term."

"Do you like it, working with the Hokage?" he caught the furrowing of Iruka's brows at the personal question, and amended it before he could protest. "Do you have a good working relationship, or is it a tense one?"

"Depends on how much he's trying to annoy me each day," he admitted, but his tone and expression were fond.

"Oh, so you are close," Kakashi said, studying Iruka while he ate. The tenseness of his posture and his pinched expression were probably because of his concern for the Hokage, he looked like an easy kind of guy in the pictures. That probably meant something. "How close exactly?"

Iruka shot him a glare. "That's not something you need to know for this." 

That clearly marked the end of that line of questioning, but that was fine. Kakashi would find out if Iruka was available and proceed accordingly, Iruka couldn't be harder to seduce than Prince Yami had been. "Does your Hokage have any particular quirks I should know about?"

Turned out, he did.

…

As it happened, Kakashi was Kakashi whether he knew who he was or not, and Iruka felt the same familiar urge to kiss him and throttle him at the same time. 

It had been easy to catch up with him once he left the hospital, Iruka and a team of ANBU had kept him in their sights at all times and redirected anyone who might approach him before Iruka himself did. The fact that Kakashi was walking around bare faced and oblivious to his own position made it easier for people to believe it was someone else who had a passing resemblance to their Hokage, and his conversations at the hospital and with the few people who spoke to him gave Iruka enough clues to know how to engage him. 

That thad been the easy part; the hard part was having Kakashi in his house behaving like a stranger, flirting with him, because that was what he was doing, and blatantly checking him out every chance he got. Iruka could feel his jaw aching from how hard he had been gritting his teeth not to scream at him.

Iruka sighed and lay back on his couch, closing his eyes. He was exhausted, not just physically from chasing after Kakashi all day but also mentally from the restraint to not shake Kakashi until whatever was loose inside his head clicked back in place. 

The Kakashi he knew was still there, that much had been obvious once they had started discussing plans for the next day's meeting. He had absorbed the information with ease, or maybe was pulling from memories he wasn't aware he had, but the fact was he had picked up his role and how he was supposed to act quick enough, almost quicker than he had done in reality when he was transitioning from soldier to leader. 

And now Kakashi was in his bedroom, in his bed, _sleeping_ , and Iruka knew he would have been more than welcome to join him. This wasn't in one of the many scenarios he had imagined for when they finally stopped dancing around each other, Iruka had no intention to sleep with a Kakashi who clearly found him physically attractive but didn't know who he was, not like the real one did. He barely got any sleep, staring at the ceiling in his living room and wishing he had the chance to be on the team who finally got the one responsible for this. He had some stress to work out.

…

Kakashi was still there in the morning, and he was still weird. 

They barely spoke more than two sentences until Iruka was properly caffeinated, something he was grateful for since it had taken him forever to fall asleep, and his dreams had been unrestful enough he was feeling off and annoyed at the world. He wanted to go back to sleep and have this whole fucked up situation resolved when he woke up, but instead he had to attend a Kage summit, not something he enjoyed on a normal occasion, with this strange version of Kakashi.

It was going to be a long day.

Kakashi was staring at his reflection in the mirror with a critical eye, his own mug of coffee in his hands. 

"How did you know I look like your Hokage?" he asked, focusing on Iruka's reflection on the mirror. "How do you know what your Hokage looks like if he's always covered head to toe?"

"It's the hair."

Kakashi's one uncovered eye moved to the wide brimmed hat covering his. "The hair," he repeated with such skepticism Iruka could almost taste it. "You are aware anyone with a similar build could wear his clothes and no one would be the wiser."

"He wasn't always the Hokage, we would know him."

Kakashi turned to look at him, pulling his mask down and drinking from his coffee mug again. He left the mask pooled under his chin once he was finished. Iruka wanted to go to him and pull the mask up, shout at him for exposing himself that way without knowing what it really meant. 

"So everyone knows his face? Is he more attractive than I am?" Kakashi smiled impishly at him, looking him up and down. 

Iruka clenched his fists. "I wouldn't know, he always wears the mask."

Kakashi turned again to the mirror. "Pity that. I wonder what he looks like."

Iruka didn't anymore. With a sigh, he gave in and approached Kakashi to pull his mask up. "He looks like this."

…

The day had been exhausting, and Kakashi was beginning to regret his decision to stay in Konoha and help them, no matter how attractive and interesting Iruka was. This was worse than the week he had spent in that sect trying to rescue the magistrate's son. No one had warned him how incredibly boring it was to lead a shinobi village, or pretend to lead one, and how entangled in bureaucracy every single decision the Kages took were, that was the reason he preferred his life as a free agent.

He was also beginning to realize there was something Iruka was not telling him; it had been there, in the back of his mind from the moment they arrived at the Hokage tower. He had felt the same tingling he had felt in Iruka's house when they entered the Hokage's office, and he knew enough about shinobi to know those were wards. Wards that were allowing him in with no problem. 

He'd barely had time to remark on it before he was ushered inside a room where the other Kages were waiting for him, Iruka following close on his heels. The Kages were impressive, there was no other word for it. All of them projected an aura of power and barely leashed violence, and normally Kakashi would feel uncomfortable with that kind of people, but not this time. This time he felt on the same level as them, which was ridiculous. He found the Mizukage especially interesting, with her dark eyes and voluptuous curves, and had he not felt Iruka's presence right next to him the entire time Kakashi would have tried something with her. But Iruka had been with him, skillfully steering Kakashi when he forgot he was playing a role and his eyes strayed or he attempted to flirt with her, and taking him away from the tower as soon as the work was finished. 

They were back to Iruka's house, and Kakashi couldn't wait to shed the bulky attire he had been forced to wear. Honestly he wouldn't be surprised if the Hokage had just up and left if this was how he spent every day; covered in stuffy clothes inside an office surrounded by boring people. If he hadn't given his word he would help, Kakashi would be far from Konoha. 

"I'll start dinner," Iruka said, and Kakashi nodded, heading straight to the bedroom to get rid of the clothes. Once he was comfortable and unmasked, he went to the kitchen and leaned against the door, watching as Iruka moved around preparing the food. Iruka moved with the confidence of someone who was used to cooking, something that to Kakaswhi looked more like magic than anything else, his deft hands cutting vegetables and other ingredients with a speed that spoke of lots of practice. 

He was really one of the most attractive people Kakashi had seen, and that included Karina-san, a gorgeous model he had enjoyed a wild night with after rescuing her from a recalcitrant ex-lover. It wasn't just his body, which was broad and firm, with defined muscles hinted under the dark uniform, or his face, tanned skin and dark eyes with a sharp chin and nose and lips that were just begging to be kissed. Or even the dark auburn hair, pulled tight into a ponytail. It was more to do with the way he moved, confident without being arrogant, settled in his skin in a way Kakashi knew not many people achieved, and his soft voice and honest eyes. It was the way he inspired confidence to Kakashi when they had known each other for less than a day. 

"Do you need anything, Kakashi-san?" Iruka asked, looking up from his vegetable chopping, his hands not pausing at all. 

"It's lonely out there," he said, smiling his best smile. Iruka just looked down at his task again. 

"This will take about twenty minutes, I'm sure you can entertain yourself for that long."

"Maybe," Kakashi admitted, approaching the counter and leaning against it next to Iruka. "But some entertainment is better with good company." Iruka faltered slightly on his chopping and sent him an annoyed look. 

"I'm busy, the food is not going to prepare itself."

"I'm not too hungry." He looked at Iruka and let the _'for food'_ unspoken but clearly implied. Iruka huffed. "Tell me, Sensei, are you and your Hokage lovers?"

The chopping stopped altogether and Iruka turned to look at him fully. "Not that it's any of your business, but no."

Kakashi's smile widened. "Are you single then?"

"Again, none of your business."

That was probably a yes, then. "You look tense, why don't you let me help you relax?"

The look Iruka gave him was flat and unimpressed. "No thank you, why don't you go to the living room and wait for me with a book?"

Kakashi knew when to push and when to stop pushing, so he nodded and left the kitchen. He grabbed a book at random and sat on the couch with it. Two pages in he frowned, looking at the cover. Icha Icha Paradise, it was called, and he didn't remember reading it but the words were familiar and the story was more than familiar. He kept reading; the main character was a trained shinobi who had left his village when his family died and lived on the road, and adventurer, and he had just rescued Karina-san, a gorgeous model, from her asshole of an ex-lover. She had thanked him enthusiastically, like Kakashi remembered being thanked, and the words printed when they parted matched perfectly with the ones in Kakashi's memory. 

It had to be a coincidence, that or Karina-san had told the story to someone. The main character, Hideaki, had just left her and was ambushed on the way to the next village. Kakashi also remembered the ambush, and there had been nobody left to tell the tale except himself at the end of it. It had been revenge for the affair with the Daimyo's wife, he remembered and after that--

"The food is ready," Iruka said entering the living room with two plates, and Kakashi looked up from the book and suddenly felt the room spinning around him, coming in and out of focus at vertiginous speed. He felt a sharp pain behind his eyes before everything went black. 

…

Iruka focused on making dinner and stop gritting his teeth once Kakashi was out of the kitchen. It had been a long day, and he was tired, and the last thing he needed was to fend off Kakashi's advances.

The meeting with the Kages had been at the same time easier and harder than he had expected. With Kakashi following his instructions regarding the negotiations everything had gone smoothly on that front, the hard part had been keeping Kakashi from flirting with the Mizukage so much it was obvious it wasn't really him. It had been necessary to keep the semblance of normalcy, not because Iruka had felt any jealousy that he had kept a closer eye on that. 

And of course Kakashi had to come onto him as soon as they were back home. Because Iruka's day hadn't been hard enough already. He prepared the food, the practiced movements relaxing him enough to face Kakashi again. 

"The food is ready," he said entering the living room. 

Kakashi's face snapped up from the book and Iruka immediately knew something wasn't right; Kakashi stared at him wide-eyed and pale, his hands white knuckling the book he was reading. He tried to stand, wobbling slightly before the rest of the colour drained from his face and his eyes closed, slumping back on the couch. Iruka was next to him in a heartbeat, the plates unceremoniously dropped on the closest surface, his hands searching for a pulse on Kakashi's pale neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt it beating strongly, and turned to the window. 

"Fox," he called for the ANBU guard stationed there. "Get Sakura here immediately."

There was a soft moan coming from the couch and Iruka turned back to see Kakashi's eye fluttering open, still unfocused. 

"Iruka?" Kakashi rasped, looking around. The way he said his name and the confusion in his tone told him this was probably his Kakashi, the real one. At last. "Why am I in your house?" Iruka put a hand on his chest to keep him from trying to stand when he started to struggle.

"Stay still, Sakura's on the way?"

"Why is she--" Kakashi trailed off with a pained grunt. "Fuck, my head hurts. And when did I get here? I was in the Tower when someone attacked."

Iruka finally felt the tension of the past two days drain out of him, sagging against the couch and Kakashi. "It's a long story."

…

Kakashi was back at Iruka's house the next day. 

Sakura had insisted on keeping him in the hospital for most of the night, running tests on his head to check what the hell had been going on there and if there was permanent damage. It had all been bad luck and a shoddy genjutsu he would have been able to shake off easily had he not hit his head at that same time. He had missed two days of his life, and the Kage summit, because the universe hated and loved him at the same time. 

He still wasn't completely clear on everything that had happened the couple of days he was under the jutsu, except that apparently he had behaved like something out of a book, and considering the kind of literature he preferred, he probably owed Iruka and apology. 

Iruka opened the door for him and let him in with barely a greeting, looking as if he had just got out of bed. He was wearing soft sweatpants and a tshirt so old it was almost transparent in places, his hair mussed and loose around his shoulders. There was no way he hadn't hit on him. 

"Morning Iruka."

Iruka grunted something in response and went to the kitchen, coming back with two coffee cups. He handed one to Kakashi and sat down on the couch with the other. 

He was not a morning person, something that Kakashi never failed to find endearing. "Why are you here so early?"

"It's 10AM." Iruka blinked at him and took a big gulp of his coffee. Kakashi pulled down his mask to do the same and then hesitated when it was time to pull it back up. He had been walking around without it for a day, according to Sakura, it wasn't as if Iruka hadn't seen it before. He finally let it down, and didn't miss the flash of surprise on Iruka's face. "Are you awake enough to talk?"

"Not yet."

Kakashi smiled. "I'll talk then, you can keep drinking your coffee. We got the ANBU report back, apparently the person who attacked me was acting alone. His name was Hachi Akito and his great idea had been to put one of the Kages, me, under a genjutsu so he could control me to start a new war. He wasn't expecting me to defend myself, for some reason, and when I hit my head fighting him everything went weird."

A snort. "You could say that."

Iruka sounded more awake now, it was time for the conversation. "How weird did I make things between us?"

"What do you remember?" Iruka asked, cautiously. 

He remembered thinking that Iruka was the most attractive person he had seen, but that was something he normally thought not the result of a head injury, though he usually had better self control. "Not much, but I do remember hitting on you. Constantly. Do I need to apologize for that? I might need to if it bothered you, because while I agree with weird me's taste, I wanted to move slowly."

He got a soft laugh at that. "Kakashi, I have seen continents moving faster than you do."

Iruka had a point, it had been months since they started working together and getting closer, Kakashi still hesitant to push considering their respective positions. But there was moving slowly, and then there was not moving at all; they spent lots of time together, and they were good friends who were also attracted to one another. "So if I were to move faster?"

Iruka downed his coffee and deposited the cup on the table, then took Kakashi's and did the same. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kakashi, softly, one of his hands cupping his jaw, his thumb stroking his cheek. He pulled apart after a few seconds, Kakashi's lips chasing after him. "Like this?"

Kakashi smiled and kissed Iruka again, deeper and open mouthed this time, pushing until they were both flat on the couch just making out. And just this, it was perfect, their lips and hands and bodies together, fitting as well as he had always imagined they would. He knew they were going to end like this sooner or later, but somehow he was grateful they got the push they needed.

He didn't know why he had waited so much.

...


End file.
